The Zephyr Card

I have a question to ask all of you out there. Have you ever cast a Wall and thought to yourself "Oh man, I wish this had a crippling drawback in addition to not doing anything proactive!". Well, my friend, you should look no further than Ravnica block to deliver!

So, first, let's notice the casting cost on this sucker. 6 mana certainly isn't anything to scoff at, and regardless of what format you're playing in, it better to something to help win you the game. Cards that cost 6 mana and don't do anything to help you win the game are what we refer to as "coasters" in the biz. Like a 0/6 for 6.

Thank God, I was worried about my coffee table!

Oh, wait, what's that? We're not done yet! Silly me, how could I forget the ability it has? That means I have another question for y'all out there:

Q: What's better than spending 6 mana for a 0/6 creature?
A: Having to pay that cost again every time it blocks!

Yes, as if a glorified Wall wasn't good enough, apparently we have to suffer more. The Spirit doesn't even get to stick around once you dump all your resources into bringing it out in the first place. It gets to pop right back into your hand; which is, incidentally, probably the last place you'll ever want it to be. Aside from your trash binder, of course.

So how would one going about fixing this monstrosity of a card? Actually, they totally did already. Mobile Fort is a 0/6 Wall for a mere four mana that has the ability to TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT. It gives you a meaning in casting a Wall for once. It sits there and soaks up damage, and when the time is right, cockslaps your opponent.

May everyone out there dream of someday beating your opponent to death with Walls. Bonus points if it comes in the form of the non-Wall Zephyr Spirit. You will be a God among Johnnies everywhere.

It's too bad Spike will be too busy crying to notice.