Lamer Than it Looks (And That's Saying Something)

Okay, so what do you think of when you think of extraplanar beings dueling in the outermost reaches of the multiverse? A massively busty sorceress standing on top of a teetering precipice wielding a powerful artifact that turns night into day and blood into fire while storms rage in the background and her opponent mounts his army of dinosaurs bristling with laser cannons and nukes and the earth trembles from their combined might? Yeah, that's pretty kickass. But did you think of something else? How about making someone trivially more defensible? Isn't that kickass? Isn't it?

The Mongolians Would Crap Themselves in Joy

People have pretty much figured out which cards are bad and which ones aren't by now. You can do a pretty easy search on Google to find "top 50 worst Magic cards ever" or "top 10 best mustaches on Magic cards". Today's card is one that regularly tops the list, and for once isn't even a blue or red card! Are you ready to find out? Here... we... GO!

Bustin' Out

Who remembers Onslaught? I sure do. It was back in the heyday when I had a crappy 90-card almost-singleton Elf deck monstrosity to bring to play against my friends during lunchtime at school. It was also the origin of one of my favorite mechanics: Morph. Having cards with concealed information is one of my favorite things to play with in Magic, whether it be simply because they're in your hand, hidden from Hideaway, or on the front side of a Morph creature. Today's card attempts to make that hidden information public. It also fails hardcore.

The Zephyr Card

I have a question to ask all of you out there. Have you ever cast a Wall and thought to yourself "Oh man, I wish this had a crippling drawback in addition to not doing anything proactive!". Well, my friend, you should look no further than Ravnica block to deliver!