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| Tapping for red mana never hurt so good. |
But what people fail to realize is that Spikes the world over have plenty of rageworthy material all the way through the New Framed cards too. For example, I picked a random Mirrodin expansion and went to town. I ended up with Darksteel. You know, that set that brought us completely balanced and fair gems like Æther Vial and Skullclamp. That one.
Well, it also brought us some horrifyingly bad cards. One of which I'll talk about today. So let's start the analysis!
I see a Goblin. Yay! And it only costs 1 mana! That's pretty cool too. I mean, there are some awesome 1-drops you can pull off. That must mean this one is at least passable! Some of those other 1-cost Goblins are pretty insane. And that art is promising.
Well, it's a 1/1. I can't really expect much more. The ability is what really matters, right? It's a common, so it won't be super-duper, but other common Goblins gave things like temporary Flying or Haste or Trample or the ability to pump creatures by sacrificing Goblins. It's not like it will have a downside or anyth-
Oh sweet Jesus, really? It does have a downside? I can't even believe that they'd do that? What the hell, man? What the hell?
Seriously, who thought this was a good idea? This should cost, like, 0 mana if anything, and I think the Kobolds they printed back in the day would be a better investment even then.
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| Kobolds: Wearing dresses and funny hats every day for your amusement. |
How often have you looked at a card and thought "Oh man, this 1/1 is totally awesome, but wouldn't it be better if I was forced to make it slaughter itself against any creature my opponent plays every turn?"
Take a look at the list of 1-drop Goblins. Crazed Goblin is really an insult to that list and drags the whole thing down. A vanilla 1/1 for 1 is barely playable in any format, and one that comes with a downside needs to be taken out behind the woodshed.
Deathbringer Thoctar: GO!
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